dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
