is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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