i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
