i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
