sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
