My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
