What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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