so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize