You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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