hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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