I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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