he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
