According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize