Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
