thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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