On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
