My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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