Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
