So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
