Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
