He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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