fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
