You can't special order awesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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