i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You can't special order awesome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
