i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
