i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
