you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
