Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need moral support for this bender
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
