at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
