Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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