I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
