Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Farmville is her only friend.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
