even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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