I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
cat food counts as protein by the way
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
