Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
