how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
