Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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