So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
