Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
