I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
