so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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