So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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