we made out on top of his cat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
