It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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