When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
