no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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