Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
