It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
