Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize