Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
