No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
