i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
