and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You're like the curious george of whores
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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