Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You ruined the universe
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize