Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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