Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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