did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
