More tranny stories later!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
