Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
