don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
