it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
