yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
