Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
