A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
